Having no sleep, being with the same people to long, anddd being stressed out really puts me in a bad mood. I always feel like maybe if I lash out at people then it will help me relieve me anger, but it never does. It seemed like every little thing ate away at me this morning. I wouldn't even look at my sister because I was so angry about driving around san antonio for 45 minutes trying to find her friend's house. When I know she'd do it for me any day, but it didn't matter to me this morning, it was like everyone's tiny flaws were magnified and I kept making them out to be some huge ordeal in my mind. It felt like I was going to snap at any given moment. After finally making it to her friends house I asked to drive, took the keys, and sped all the way back to Austin so that we wouldn't get lost anymore plus I wouldn't have to speak or look at anyone. I kept trying to block out the phrase that kept running through my mind that said "change you attitude before it changes you". About an hour and 20 minutes later we were at my sisters apartment and I told myself that I could be happy or miserable. So I walked into the apartment and put a fake smile on, but after a little while I didn't have to try. I came to realization that I don't have any reason to be mad; I have everything I need including my family, and it's rare that we all get to be together, so I didn't need to ruin it. I guess it was just selfish of me to get mad and it wasn't worth it. Plus I can never get back the time that I waste on being ticked off. :/ My point being, we don't just become happy or sad and no one forces it upon us, it's a choice that we make for ourselves.
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